Love's Nuances

"Of all the nuances of human love, adoration and appreciation keep it intact while a stubborn identity of this same love selfishly manipulates and destroys it, often times unknowingly." - Sherman H. Smith Jr.

these are thoughts written between the years 2009, 2010, and 2011 regarding something so fleeting yet so thorough that is was of utmost importance to the most perfect Prophet, Jesus Christ.


(1) Emotionally driven people rarely capitalize on opportunities. they let feelings cloud the minds judgment, causing them to act in emotional ways. often times this never solves the problem; it allows it to grow. awry feelings due to random and non-thoughtful emotion will cause chaos and irreparable damage.

(2) The spirit of growth naturally displaces the human attraction to negative and unworthy beings of energy by which a soul must banish all attraction to these negative energies, in order to illuminate. the pain of confronting ones demons will enable a strength and one shall be blessed with positive light. with this light, growth is possible. with growth, all can be achieved. the light of God is one without negative connotation, leading a soul to dictate the positivity in their being. one in the same, distinctively opposite. both needed for advancement physically, mentally, and spiritually.

(3) You know how you can get so close to something that you cannot step up onto it? take a step back and then step up.

(4) Knowledge is power, and it is the spark for life, that & love. secrets of the world are not secret or unattainable, but intrinsically hardwired into many. exposure, through an awareness bolstered by a conscious view of objectivity, enables these things to be 'remembered', applied, and utilized.

(5) Anger of a negative attitude, such as jealousy, will cause you to take action in inappropriate ways. without reaction to these emotions, you will not undergo stresses unbecoming of a God like creature. In reaction with anger or negative attitude, words can be spoken for, yet actions taken negatively will bring you to realize that you have deviated from the two rules that ultimately bring you closer to God; Loving God, and Loving your neighbor as yourself.

(6) How can one make others happy? Self love. make yourself happy. then, you may be able to whole-heartedly make others happy as well. creating happiness is the key to reaching inner peace.

(7) As human beings, God blessed us with the unique ability above anything else, to be able to harness energy, regardless of the anatomy of it, and use it as we please. negative energies emitted by others can be absorbed and harnessed by one to be used in a overwhelmingly positive capacity.

(8) Love is the light in this world of darkness. with it one is great. through it, everything is made greater. hope; the faith that love will prevail

(9) Love is a universal connection intended to correct, prevail, and preside over the ways of the world and society. to live is to have life. to love is to love life. however, the reaching of the depths of love is an anomaly that only God has the power over.

sorry.

killin me softly

Date Written: January 2013
Date Published: June 2013

"as a child I always I had outlandish wishes. in my heart they were not outlandish but to everyone else they were as palpable as jumping from the ground to the moon.  the problem with the person of today is that that everyone tells you what you cant do. so you don't believe. me, I had this inner voice, drowning out these people. I could see their lips moving, but their words were a far cry to my ears. I wanted to be where no one else I knew could go"

circumstance and superficial joy

Date written: January 2013
Date published: June 2013

placing yourself into the foreground of your own life is the first step to living as you always picture. sacrifice, discipline, and self love.

no matter what happens, understand that there is no bad. many times we look for joy in superficial and outward ways, failing to appreciate true joy which is inner comfort that can only come from an intimate relationship with God or the Universe. whichever works for you. we often let things that are not forever provide us with circumstantial and superficial joy. we allow material and people to provide us with happiness but what happens when these things that provided all of this happiness, are gone? what happens when they fail to provide the happiness they once did? do we give this material that used to cause so much happiness away, or let the person provide happiness for someone who will more appreciate it. however, as humans, we tend to hoard. some hoard outwardly, such as trashy homes and things of that nature. others hoard inwardly, such as emotions and feelings that we once had that we don't want to let go; memory. we put that old sweater that we loved 20 years ago into storage, forgetting about it. or we hold onto a person through a situation that we know should be thrown away, regardless of perceived love for said person.  what happens when you lose your dream job or the home you just purchased or the girl that you thought would always love you? where has your joy went?

God, the universe, you inner Self...whatever you believe is the existent connector to infinite...is the inly entity, thing, person that can provide true joy. don't let outward circumstance provide inner joy, because when it flees, you will be left empty.

What?

How in the fuck did Iron Man, Tony fucking Stark,  get through the worm hole?

Alright now, I have not written anything on this blog in a while. so bear with with. I'm just going to type some thoughts I have been having, regarding some weird shit thats really not weird at all.

As you can tell, I recently watched Iron Man 3, and it sparked me to write some stuff up. This write up does not have anything to do with God, and everything to do with the Universe, which in essence is the Web of God, so God has everything to do with this write up. or not. but anyway, I digress.

As I have gotten older, I have become enamored with the subtle teachings that movies provide in regards to the universe, and the truthfulness of some of these teachings. Many of our favorite comic books turned movies involve a lot of fantasy, and even more of universal knowledge than we may expect. these god-like being, can people really become that? In Iron Man 3, there is a hypothesis displayed that reasons the powers held by humans when we are able to utilize the full capacity of our brains. to date, it is known that the average American human being uses between 8-10% of their brains 'power', and up to only 5% at time. kind of wack really. If humans were able to use their brains full potential energy, coupled with altering DNA...craziness would ensue. use your own imagination, as I'm not going to go deeper into that shit.  just think, altering weather & kinetics, reading minds...

I'm high so I'm going to end this. bye.

Fucks Yer Problem?

To know life is to understand death. Without the recreative and removing process' of death, we would not know what life truly is. Answer this, what is the point in a murdered child's life? read the question over again. What is the point in a murdered child's LIFE? I am not asking about the reason of the  murdered child's being, only the point of the life. 

Over time, we have forgotten this ideal. No longer is death looked at as a chance to assemble one's spirit to God, but an abomination of man. Death is looked down upon, as dirty. Naturally however, it is a cleansing process. Death is the only constant in this plane that we utilize. The material world that we have placed ourselves into and become, has entrapped the core of our true nature. We revel in the light that life brings, not realizing that life is what brings darkness. Our world has become a place where darkness perpetuates darkness, and our Lives is the energy source for the darkness. The self-righteous man has become an evolutionary entity, forever distanced from the created original. The evils that us men do have betrayed us, for even when we have pursued happiness for the good of ourselves or another, others have been oppressed due to it. Man fails to realize that by doing anything other than what God has dictated, destruction in one form will occur, even if construction may take place. 

Answer this: What is the point in a murdered child's life? I will tell you

Many men throughout history have been brave enough to valiantly fight for their country or cause, to the death. One such soldier, in an unknown time period, became enticed by an unknown force to do unspeakable horrors to innocent, yet enemy individuals. No mercy was shown; even a little girl no more than 7 years old was raped and beaten, along with other members of her family. This soldier goes on to receive medals of honor from his government. Innocence was destroyed. 

Many spirits of children are taken away from this earth due to detestable acts committed against them. 

One day, one such child, in an unknown time period, was brutally raped and murdered. Innocence was destroyed.

What if, that soldier who killed a girl and her family in an unknown time period died an old and wise, widely praised man, and his spirit so happened to be birthed a couple hundred years later into a beautiful little girls body. What if this little girl grows up to be the little girl in the unknown time period that was brutally raped and murdered?

Maybe this spirit was taught a lesson that many of us have not opened our minds enough to comprehend. Even if you are praised on earth, God will Judge you in death.

Random. I know. 

A letter to my Son; an Epistolary Essay

Epistolary Essay

 

Dear Sherman,

 

In the race of life, there is no finish line, other than death. I've been a sprinter in this race since entering college, living fast and hard. Early on in my life, I was the complete opposite. A long distance runner, I let things come to me and learned from other's mistakes. Before beginning or becoming involved in anything, I always investigated the people who attempted something before me. I always analyzed the situation, never making pre-judgments to whether it would be a detriment or beneficial to me. What made this person screw up? What led this group to succeed? I didn't have a problem being behind at the beginning of the race, because through my search and inquiry for truth, I knew that I would catch up with and pass the others. Being a very patient and virtuous child, I didn't let many things hinder me from gaining knowledge. In my childhood I was extremely reserved, compared to all of my peers. Sure, I did some ignorant things, but not without calculation. I wasn't the kid who didn't care about being caught. Hell, my only fear of doing something WAS getting caught.

I clearly remember being a bright-eyed child in kindergarten. One day, I felt the need to kill the classroom goldfish. Unknowingly letting someone in on my plan to destroy those funny looking fish, it was almost foiled by the teacher. Nevertheless, I waited and waited, and as soon as the teacher lost her attention on me…CRASH. A note was sent home to my mother shortly after, stating that my mother should watch what she was teaching her child because I was 'too calculated' to be so young. It wasn't my mother's doing however; I felt the need to do something destructive. My mother never punished me, citing that in order to be prosperous in the world one must be able to calculate their steps. I did get scolded for using one of my strengths for negative, but hey, I was 5.

Growing up Christian, I learned and understood at an early age that God laughed at the plans of man, yet he would still bless the footsteps of those who walked with him. With maturity, I formulated new ideas and thought processes on things, becoming quite the rebel. As I grew older and encountered new things, the knowledge that I had acquired through the study of history and people's actions, both past and present, guided me. I didn't understand why I was going through certain things or how I was even getting through these things in one piece. Confidence growing with each passing test, the world became a playground. I was growing out of my 'conditioning' as a long distance runner, and transforming in to a sprinter. Maybe this is a natural process with every human being. Learning and amassing knowledge as a youth, only to form your own opinions and ideas on what it is to be wise could be seen as an innate human characteristic. Gaining knowledge at such a young age, where rebellion is the sole thought on an impressionable teens head, led me to think that without making personal mistakes I would never grow. "Fuck it and fuck you" became my motto because even though it is an extremely vile way to think, in my heart, I felt that I had the wherewithal to do what I wanted and that it would be beneficial to me and others. Studying the teachings of One God led me to dictate to others that what I was doing was for the betterment of everyone, regardless if you liked it or not. This backfired on me however. Due to having fun and 'living,' whatever that is, my life became encompassed with late nights, early days, lots of drugs and girls. My life was becoming nuts and filled with the ignorance that I shunned as a child. But I wanted to live. In my youth, I understood living to mean doing what you wanted, when you wanted.

Around the time that my world turned into a playground, total independence loomed in front of my face in the form of car payments and apartment bills. Seeing that I was now a grown ass man with grown ass responsibility, I gained fast twitch muscle and my sprint began. With this sprint, and seeing how fast life was declining, God brought me back to his feet. I started reading everything again, as I did at six and seven years old. The only difference in my readings of the past and the present, at the time, was the interpretations that came into my mind from them. It seemed that God wanted me to speak for him, and I did not understand how. I still don't to this day. I honestly feel like Mohammad, Moses, Noah, and even Jesus. A reluctant spiritualist, I am not one to push myself or my thoughts and beliefs onto anyone. I am for the world and every enticement and blessing that can come with it, like Mohammad, yet I yearn for learning and understanding of the science of God, as Jesus did. As I immersed myself in the teachings of God, I soon realized that I had been mistaken in my transition from running cross country and sprinting. Life was not about doing what you will, even though it is best to live and let live. I found that to live meant to not be hindered, not be biased, not be inclined to operate your mind in ways that would lead you to negativity, no matter how fun.

In my sprint, I have passed many people, yet I still feel as if I am behind. This sprinting has helped me tremendously, as I have seen and done things that most 23-year-olds can only imagine. I have met people and traveled thoroughly. Experience trumps argument, and I have a shit load of experiences that I could share with anyone. These experiences have come at a cost however. I sometimes wish that I would have slowed myself, not become so immersed in the thoughts of One Self, One God, and One Man. As aforementioned, through my sprinting I have amassed a great amount of knowledge, yet it has always been in hindsight: living and learning. The old saying goes, hindsight is 20/20, and I am a living testament of this.

In the footsteps of characters such as the mystical Yeshuoa Ben Pandira, found in the Hebrew tale The Talmud, I am often in opposition of elders, from their views on subjects to their philosophies on life, love and religion. The story of Pandira is a trying one. He is the bastard child of a mother who marries a man that can trace his lineage back to King David. Soon after marriage, however, she is raped by a neighbor, begetting Pandira. Her husband leaves her at this time as well. Pandira is a virtuous child, blessed with extreme wit and intelligence. He often times is scolded, and is known for being a crude and mean child, especially to adults and elders who view his thoughts as ignorant and premature. He views their ways as old, minuscule, and irrelevant to the day's age and is hence deemed a heretic. Pandira performed miracles and resurrected the dead in these stories and spread a mass of knowledge, yet he was never accepted by his people. His idolatrous teachings led to his demise, due to him being shunned away by his Jewish mentor. Starting his own sect of Jewish belief, he was viewed as pagan. Death came to him early in life. Some say he was murdered by his own people while others say he died alone. This story is awfully similar to the story of Jesus Christ, who was a child born to a distinct and removed sect of Jews called the Essenes. He too was a bastard child, born to an unmarried virgin mother whom later married a man named Joseph that ironically traced his lineage back to King David, as did Pandira's father in the Talmud. Jesus Christ also was a child prodigy, as he was able to teach priests' and sages more about their belief in a higher power than they could imagine. Framed and murdered due to his supposed idolatrous teachings and claim that he was the manifest flesh of God, Christianity is now the most practiced organized religion in the world. In this realm, you must know, that the good of God cannot be hid; only covered. You will find truths; I advise the Book of Barnabus. Born a Christian, I studied the laws of Jesus first. In his life, Love and Truth were the inspiration for his lessons.

Love. Live. Learn. It took me 22 years to realize that these three words, which in my opinion are more like concepts, make life what it is. In all reality, life is what you make it, but without love, living, and learning, you will never appreciate or grasp life. When you were born, I saw God in you and I was in awe. I want to teach you that no matter if you sprint or run a long race, you have the ability to dictate what you will and won't do, as long as God is on your side. There are a lot of things that you will encounter in life, some for the betterment of you, and some for the demise. In the grand scheme of things, everyone will end up loving you, regardless of what you do.

A Child; an Analytic Meditiation

Sherman Smith

Analytic Meditation

A child; such a selfish and mindless creature. They behave in the darndest of ways, saying the darndest things and act out in the darndest of fashion. Loud, obnoxious, and sometimes overly playful, the nerve-racking mini-me's of the world, seemingly make life a living hell. I only have one, and at this very moment he is driving me absolutely insane. Often times, when I look at my son, I think that he is the punishment of God bestowed upon me, due to the erratic behavior of my past that often times became detrimental to not only my health, but others as well. A wild child if you will, I now have been forced to reign in my flamboyant and rambunctious character, in order to fulfill the role bestowed upon me as a great father. Many days, I sit and wonder where I would be and what I would be doing if I did not have a child, and then, the reincarnation of myself smacks me in the face, jerking me back into a surreal reality. I say surreal because it is like a dream to me; how I have become what I have become, and also what I have been able to manifest into the world.

Children can be your greatest dream or worst nightmare; I suppose it all depends on how you judge them. Some people, who think that children are the worst, will never know the joy of having them. Others, who enjoy children and may enjoy having their own even more, may never know the joy of living a life without them. In a sense, once you have children, your life revolves around them and not your own self. A gift and a curse; you are brought happiness from your child, yet are constantly yearning for a life of complete freedom and a lot less responsibility. Children, like good and evil, can take your life on one path or another. Some parents discard their own dreams that they had during their childhood, in order to work and be able to provide. Others chase their dreams and goals, in order to be able to provide for their child in the manner that they wish, while also showing their child that they too can do anything that they put their mind too. I grew up with both types of parents. My father was 46 years old when I was born and 48 when my younger brother was birthed. He pretty much had lived a full life and did everything in it that he wanted to do. A tryout for the now defunct ABA Kentucky Colonels is something that he often wishes he had not passed up, instead opting to join the army. He often jokes about this time in the army however and how he has another family living up in the mountains, due to being stationed in Seattle. Looking at pictures of his Hot Rod cars and car races is his most pleasant past time, and sharing stories with his now adult children of the women that he had. He didn't have many big dreams or goals anymore after we were born, he just wanted to work and raise his kids, which is quite alright. A college education wasn't a big deal to him; especially coming from the small town of Earlington in western Kentucky. Worked as a supervisor at General Electric factory for over 35 years before he retired, my father knew hard work. Day in and day out, he awoke and went to work, even if he didn't do much while there. He retired when I was in eighth grade if I am not mistaken, making it easier to interact with his two boys. During my childhood, my father made sure that we were involved in numerous sports and that we knew that we were supported to the fullest. I can say with vigor that my father never missed a basketball game, football game or track meet from the time I began playing organized sports at 5, until I graduated high school at 17. My mother on the other hand, was rarely able to make games due to her rigorous work and school schedule. Very much like myself, my mother was considered a wild child in her youth, and a wild adult in her 20's. Kicked out of Eastern Kentucky University at the age of 18 and coming back home to Louisville to live, my mother was able to do what she wanted as an adult. She was also in the army like my father, but faked crazy in order to be released early. Living in Florida at one time and Antigua, a West Indian island in another, she was in her first marriage at the age of 26. She even spent numerous years in New York City, even getting her associates degree in Nursing at a community college while living there. All the while, my mother had goals and dreams that she wanted to pursue, however the drive or reasoning per se, wasn't there. Her mother, my grandmother, was the head of one-day surgery at University Hospital for over 30 years before she retired. How could a daughter not attempt to follow in those footsteps? She almost didn't and nearly became the black sheep of the family. Once I was born, my mother went back to school and has never looked back. Over 22 years, my mother has received her bachelor's degree in nursing science, two master's degrees, and is currently working on her DNP or certification to be a Nurse Practitioner. Named an Adult Black Achiever in 2005, being a professor of upper division nursing at UofL, and being published in numerous nursing magazines are amazing accomplishments for a person that had to raise two children as well. Having parents from both 'sides of the fence' has shown me how children affect the minds and actions of man. Being raised in a 'dual' household if you will, has created the understanding in me that I now need in order to raise my child. To my father, raising a child meant being involved, under circumstance. To my mother, elevating yourself to the fullest extent possible is key in the development of children. As a child becomes older, maturation occurs, and one can 'see' the workings of one's parents. I understand that hard work is the key to reaching goals, yet I also understand that without dreams, you may stifle your children's own ambition.

My son. My sun. It is often said that a child is a parent's world. I agree, to a point. Yes, my son is my world, because everything that I do revolves around me bettering everything, for my child's sake. A look deeper into the science of the Sun however, would lead one to investigate the origin of the name of Son, bestowed upon a person's male child. My Son has become my Sun, because my world revolves around him and only him. He is the light that shines bright onto me every morning when I am awakened by his loud slap of my face. He has revealed to me all of the wickedness and malevolence of my past as wrong, and made it so that I know I cant be innocent like him, but I may mimic his innocence and be in his mold. He is the force that drives me to 'rise and shine' and revolve or move, so that he may have a stupendous life. Without the Sun's light, plants would die, the world would be cold, and there would be an amount of nothingness in the world that encompasses infinite. When my Son wakes and shines onto me, it gives me breath; it is the catalyst for my force. I am able to get up and do what I need to do, without reservation. Just like the Sun, my Son can bring wonderful tidings and at the same time, cause mass destruction. In my opinion, the Sun in the sky is the most powerful thing that exists in our universe. It has the power to destruct things, as well as protect. Life is at the mercy of the Sun, and in my life, I am at the mercy of my Son. If the Sun does not shine on the world, what good would the Sun be? What good would the world be, for that matter? The Sun is going to keep turning and keep existing. In my studies, I have come to examine the Holy Bible, and the Son in it. In the bible, God shines his light onto the world in the form of his Son, a manifest angel and human figure, in laymen terms. With this light, the Sun is able to reveal the darkness of action and thought of the world's inhabitants. Jesus or the Son of God, brings about perceivable change and revolutionizes the views of life and death, good and evil in the eyes of the people. The Sunlight or the Son's Light, has never wavered from earth, even if it seems as if he has forgotten us. To this day, The Son is still shining light onto the world, and his life is being used as a base for the correct standard of living for peoples the world over. Innocence.